Healthy Relationships

Journey of the Heart: The Path of Conscious Love by John Welwood (1990). Harper Perrennial.

Love and Awakening: Discovering the Sacred Path of Intimate Relationship by John Welwood (1996). HarperCollins.

  • Welwood does a great job articulating the struggles inherent in many modern relationships. These books can be very helpful in deepening intimacy and enhancing communication.

Extraordinary Relationships: A New Way of Thinking about Human Interactions by Roberta Gilbert, M.D. (1992). John Wiley & Sons.

  • Rooted in ideas from Bowen’s family systems theory, Gilbert offers a refreshing and frank approach for helping relationships thrive. She describes common patterns of relating and how they can be changed.

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix (1988). Harper & Row.

Keeping the Love You Find: A Personal Guide by Harville Hendrix (1992). Pocket Books.

  • Hendrix presents ideas that are helpful in understanding how and why we may be unconsciously attracted to the partners we choose. He views relationships as opportunities to work through issues from childhood and break patterns we have unknowingly internalized from our parents' marriages.

The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner (1997). HarperCollins.

The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships by Harriet Lerner (1989). Harper & Row.

  • Lerner's books are readable and popular. She pulls from research on family systems and gender roles to guide women in having healthier relationships.

Being Intimate: A Guide to Successful Relationships by John Amodeo and Kris Wentworth (1986). Penguin Books.

  • Focuses on deepening intimacy and enhancing communication of needs and feelings.

We Can Work It Out: How to Solve Conflicts, Save your Marriage, and Strengthen your Love for Each Other by Clifford Notarius and Howard Markman (1993). Perigee Books.

  • Based on research which suggests that how well a couple manages conflict is the best predictor of marital success. Offers strategies for improving communication.

The Good Marriage: How & Why Love Lasts by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee (1995). Warner Books.

  • Offers descriptions of four common types of successful marriages (romantic, rescue, companionate, traditional) with rich case examples of each type. Describes nine tasks one should undertake to promote and healthy and “good” marriage.

He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears that Sabotage Your Relationships By Steven Carter and Julia Sokol (1993). Dell Trade Paperbacks.

  • Addresses "commitmentphobia" and the struggle to balance intimacy with maintaining individuality.